Not happy, nor Sad
just a plethora of contradictions
swirling, asking acceptance
Longing to flee
these talons of company
This enveloping camaraderie
I try to break free
But no freedom forthcoming
'Let me be
Let me make my mistakes
Let me make my choices'
But no!
Norms there are aplenty
Stick together, flock together!
Loneliness? Ha! A crime!
Staple a smile, talk to the no-names, no-faces
No wish there is to be cocooned
in warmth, in synthetic comfort
Greeted by False smiles ,unwilling pats on the back
Bogus advices I have received in abundance
Smirks when I fall
A break I find in this wave,
this wave of niceties
A break that spells "freedom"
Leak out from the theatrics, the drama
Into the storm will I march
Into the quagmire will I sink
I Run, run into the blazing sun
For who does the sun shine if not me?
I Run, run into the moonlight
For who does the moon glow if not me?
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Balachandran V said...
'Talons of company'- good. Theme, good. The treatment? Could be improved. Reading a poem is like watching a flower blossom. Then, you smell it again and again, savouring the fragrance. But you have to let the flower bloom naturally; one cannot rush it, you see. A rhyme here, an image there, a play of words, an interesting phrase, a thought here, a laughter there and then - the memory of the experience linger on ...
August 4, 2008 at 7:30 PM
M.Rose said...
I was going for the obscure. I wanted it to be fragmented,just like the poem before. Seems I'm only better at writing in a murky,disntegrated manner. Will try u'r suggestions, but don't know if my inscrutable mind would let me project them.
August 4, 2008 at 9:40 PM
Tedy Kanjirathinkal said...
Crackling turbulence of a straining maverick!
August 5, 2008 at 2:34 PM
M.Rose said...
@ tedy: Obscurity demands release. This straining maverick is only following the breezes of true emotion which are straining against the shackles of propriety.
August 6, 2008 at 11:42 AM